Certified analysis of unsolicited digit deployment. Every press is official. All five fingers are now fully authorized for deployment.
The Bureau of Manual Dexterity exists to subject a single clenched fist to repeated, unsolicited pressing, and to certify whichever digit deploys using instruments only the Bureau can see.
Every deployment generates its own Case Number, its own Digit Deployed, its own Field Note, and its own permanent entry in the fist's climbing Manual Dexterity Score.
Each case records a Digit Deployed and a Field Note, regardless of how the fist was actually pressed, how many times it has already been pressed today, or whether any of this qualifies as dexterity in any recognized sense.
Readings are generated within tolerances the Bureau considers scientifically unimpeachable. There is no hand. There is no Bureau.
Every fist begins at zero. Every press raises the score by an amount the Bureau declines to justify.
The score has never gone down during a single recorded session, and the Bureau does not fund research into why.
As of the most recent internal review, all five digits are cleared for deployment under standard operating conditions. The prior withholding policy has been rescinded and will not be discussed further.
Fist Pop is provided for entertainment purposes only. No fists were harmed, no fingers were meaningfully counted, and no diplomatic incidents were resolved in the making of any certificate.